Horrid Little Girl

But it’s close to deja vu. What’s the name for it? That feeling you get when something reminds you of something completely different. Last night was kind of cool in the house. It’s hot outside but cold morning air got trapped inside and stuck around. I was able to snuggle under a blanket when I went to bed. The printer had been in use earlier and ran out of paper. The screen was still on, begging me to add more paper, and created an eerie blue light that filled the room. My neighbor was playing with one of his toys-maybe his four wheeler. Whatever it was, it made a lot of noise. So there I am, cuddling under a blanket, soft frosty light filling the room, and the sound of an engine outside my window. All I can think about is winter. It feels like a winter night where the snow is reflecting the moonlight and my neighbor is plowing his driveway noisily. Of course I know it’s not winter, but my brain keeps going back to winter, picking at the idea like a crusty scab. You know the ones that are only half healed, so if you pick it completely off it will start bleeding again, but your hand just keeps going back and picking, hoping that maybe this time it will be healed, except it isn’t and you end up peeling and bleeding within 15 minutes of your first pick? Or maybe you don’t know that feeling. Sometimes I forget that everyone doesn’t have a little OCD.
I like this disjointed idea, though. I like letting my brain slip just a little so that I almost start to believe it’s a snowy winter night. And I like the feeling when I realize again that it really isn’t winter, it’s just a cool almost summer night. So what is the name for that?